Happy New Year Everyone!!!

What a funky and fun week this has been...our Christmas was wonderful...full of good cheer and relaxation. This Christmas we got a Wii and "Guitar Hero World Tour" to go along with it, so we've been playing pretend rockstars since Christmas! Too fun! You can play either the drums, guitar, or sing and all of us (little kids and big kids) have been having fun rockin' out in our living room! We haven't got Elroy on it yet, but it is only a matter of time!

Our electronic gaming was dramatically cut off thanks to the state-wide power outage. Being in Kalihi, we ended up having our power out until the middle of the next day. Of course, the first thing we thought of when we realized that it was going to be a while before we had power again was how different our lives are now. For the first time, this was not an emergency for us.

Power outages for us have always been stressful. Eric or I would immediately get in touch with the caregiver on duty, head to the house, assess the situation. In this recent case, Peggy would have definitely been forced to go the hospital since her external battery couldn't have lasted 16 hours. Nuuanu was without power even longer than us. It would have been a nightmare.

But when you are in the thick of it, you just deal with it...it is not until you are looking back that you realize how challenging it was. You just do it. That's how things have been for us for so long...you deal with it because you're on the front lines and there really isn't anytime for wishing things were different. Now being on the other side of all of this, we can truly breathe a sigh of relief and see that the way we were living was not actually normal!

So what did the Chuns do in our first non-emergent power outage? Well, we fired up a game of good ol' "Memory" with the kids. OK, I'll confess, there were also some battery powered lightsaber battles...after all, Eric does have a Lightsaber mounted on our living room wall right beneath our "Maka Makai" Peggy Chun original. Yes, the force is strong in this house. The nerdiness too.

So after the power outage, we packed up our stuff and headed to Volcano, Big Island for a 2 night, 3 day get away at Mata's cozy log cabin. It was wet, rainy, and freezing - just perfect for getting cozy by the fireplace. It was just me, Eric, and the 2 kids...we had such a wonderful time just enjoying the simple pleasures - napping, cooking delicious meals (with veggies from Hilo's Farmer's Market), drinking wine, doing crosswords, playing scrabble, watching movies...it was awesome! We even got some yoga and hiking in...got to take the kids on some Volcano trails and through the Thurston Lava Tube.

Again, this was another first for us - our first truly stress-free vacation since our honeymoon (six years ago). In fact, we spent our honeymoon on the Big Island and part of it in Volcano, so this was really a full circle moment for us. It was so foreign to be able to take off on a trip and not feel like we were ESCAPING something. I'm sure Suzanne Maurer can relate this one. For the past few years, traveling away from Peggy's side has felt more like gasping for air, than actually relaxing...don't get me wrong, we've had wonderful travel and quality of life during our time caring for Peggy, but it is different...any breaks we had were like hitting the corner of the boxing ring for a brief neck massage and splash of water before the next round of "Our Real Life".

While we were in Volcano, Eric and I were talking while doing the dishes. I told him, "Isn't this great, being on vacation shows us how we would live if we had no pressures at home - we'd, just do crosswords, cook dinner, go hiking, take naps, do whatever we want" He told me, "Honey, now we can." And that's when it hit me. Those aren't crazy things to strive for - that is NORMAL LIFE...it is just what we haven't had.

I am grateful and relieved when I think about our life now, but I also miss Peggy and in so many ways, I miss the madness. Not the stressful part, not the 24 hour care, not the "tear your hair out of your head" moments with Peggy...but I do miss the culture that built up around the bedside. It is the little things, mostly the laughter in her room.

Today, as I sit on the edge of 2008 and I look towards the start of a New Year and a New Era, I am hoping that 2009 brings its own beautiful feeling that we can all enjoy. I am hoping for a new culture to emerge, one that is just as full of laughter, but without the steep price of stress that we paid for it. May 2009 bring joy, healing, and laughter to all of you. Have a safe and special New Year's! Cheers!

Merry Christmas!!!

Mele Kalikimaka from the Chun Ohana!

What a wonderful Christmas gift we woke up to this morning...we opened the Star Bulletin and saw a full page photo of Peggy and this wonderful article by Betty Shimabukuro:

http://www.starbulletin.com/news/20081225_Artists_strength_living_with_incurable_illness_will_be_an_inspiration_forever.html

It was the perfect reminder that although Peggy is not with us this Christmas, she is with us in our hearts today and always.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season.

Here's to 2009!!!

Love,

Eric, Kimi, Indiana, Sawyer, and Maka Chun...and Elroy too!

Happy Birthday Pepper!!!

Happy 1st birthday to Pepper Jones!!! We love you, Pepper Girl!!! Have a rockin' birthday and enjoy that yummy cake your super mommy is making for you!

Christmas Open House Monday and Tuesday

Aloha all...our sale this past weekend had quite a small turnout. We know that many of you couldn't make it because of other commitments at this crazy time of year, so we are leaving the sale set up Monday and Tuesday of this week (Dec 22 and 23) before we go on holiday for the rest of the week. We will have the house open from 10:30am to 4:30pm.

All of the yard sale type Peggy treasures are located in Peggy's room and artwork is in the gallery room. Beat the holiday rush and mall traffic! Come by and do your last minute Christmas shopping at Peggy Chun Art Studio and Gallery! Hope to see you and wish you a merry holiday season!

Happy Birthday Cian!!!

Happy birthday to Cian! This is a great photo of her with Jen and Granddad. This was taken the weekend of Peggy's luau.

We're setting up for our sale - hope to see you all! Come and join us! Today 11 to 4 and tomorrow (Sat) 10 to 4...

See you Friday and Saturday!

Hope you are all going to join us Friday and/or Saturday for our Christmas Art & Yard Sale/Peg's Legs Christmas Party! We are gearing up by sorting lots of great stuff...we will also have some vendors coming in with great holiday gifts like jewelry and other goods. Plus, it will be our first Peg's Legs mini-reunion! Fun! Don't miss it!

Yesterday we had power outages in Nuuanu. Sawyer's preschool was out of power, so they had to send the kids home in the morning! So yesterday was not as productive as I would have liked...but they are back up and running today, so I am jamming around trying to get work, Christmas shopping, and sale preparations done...time is a tickin'!

We had some other excitement in Nuuanu...apparently there was an iguana sighting in the neighborhood on Monday - our neighbor on Alika Avenue saw it! He says it is 4 feet long! It is still on the loose so we've been keeping an eye out for him...I can just see Cola dragging that lizard in the house!

OK! Off to sort kitchenware in the kitchen with Pat Gamble, Kelly, and Lolo!

Hey Blog Fans - I'm Back!

Well, my immune system finally had enough with me and I caught the cold I've been running from for the past month...I am not surprised since I've been "burning the candle at both ends" as my mom says...my sleep has been erratic, my stress levels high, the weather soggy, I've had more wine than usual, and I must have kissed and hugged about 2000 people in the past few weeks! It's actually a miracle that I made it this far without burning out!

So I was sick Saturday and Sunday. I hate being sick on the weekend. No, I just hate being sick. I don't like slowing down (you're all shocked, I know) and I just lay there feeling mad that I'm not getting anything done. In hindsight I can see that I did get something done - I got some much needed rest and relaxation, but I would have rather recharged at a spa, not in my bed with a cold.

Eric and I did get to slip out on Saturday night with the kids to go to the Symphony's Peter and the Wolf with Barbra Pleadwell, Jayson Harper, and Bella Grace and friends. It was narrated by Jorge Garcia (Hurley from "Lost")! The kids enjoyed it - Indy more than Sawyer since it was kind of late for him and he was pretty tired.

So we're here at the house getting ready for this weekend's sale. I'm glad I'm on the mend since this is a big week. Not only do we have our sale this weekend, but we also have Indy's Christmas program Thursday night and Sawyer's Christmas Program Friday night. We also will be celebrating Cian's 3rd birthday this weekend. Her birthday is on Friday.

The kids are out of school next week, so this is my only real week to get stuff done before Christmas! These past 2 months have been so crazy. I feel so behind in all my work and so behind in Christmas stuff! I'm still in a whirlwind...still having a hard time feeling grounded.

I know that I still need to post photos from Peggy's services and luau...it's on my list! I'll get it to it soon! Wish me health and wellness and lots of energy this week - I need it!

Peggy at Punchbowl

Yesterday, Elroy arranged for a private ceremony to place some of Peggy's ashes in a niche at Punchbowl where Elroy plans to have his own ashes placed when the day comes. We had a nice simple ceremony, led by Clarence Liu. It was just myself, Eric, Elroy, Mike and Putter. It was nice to have a quiet family moment - I think that Elroy especially appreciated this intimate, peaceful moment.

We want to share the location of Peggy's grave site/niche so all can visit. It is at Punchbowl National Cemetery (also known as the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific). She is located in the upper niche area, Court 11 - Wall 0 - Grave # 300-350.

We took the perfect plant to place below her niche. It was a living Christmas fir with a penguin in it! So Peggy! Currently, there is just a temporary placard there. The real engraving will be ready in a couple weeks. Right now it says Peggy's real name "Mary M. Chun".

Both of my grandfather's grave sites are in the same niche area, a few courts away from Peggy. It was nice to visit them yesterday. It is so beautiful up there.

Marvel's Remembrance

Here is Marvel's remembrance from Peggy's memorial service:

Working for Peggy was such a whirlwind of the emotions. She demanded much of herself and naturally the same of those around her. As caregivers we’ve watched her physical body weaken but her soul grow.

Peggy still remained such a compassionate person even though she had the most to overcome. Now looking back at that whole experience I realize that we were all in a race with her, a race for time and closure, hope was always our driving force.

Each caregiver brought their own unique spirit and complimented Peggy’s colorful personality. Some brought patience because without patience there was no foundation, some brought boundaries because without them sincerity could not exist, some brought eccentricity because without it there was no creative spark, but all brought love and without that then Peggy would not have made it this far.

In the Hawaii Pacific University documentary, “To Peggy with Love”, I recalled her saying, “I don’t want to just cease to exist”. For Peggy Chun that could never happen, her existence is eternal in our thoughts, our dreams and our hearts but her immortality will forever be embedded in the memories of all who beheld her and that is her triumph. ALS did not claim Peggy; she embraced it as her cause. Peggy lived with dignity and courage till the end and gave this disease a new face.

In Peggy’s last days there was such a peaceful aura around her as she comforted us all with her "eye love". Peggy had created such a beautiful rainbow out of all of our unique personalities. If Oahu is the gathering place then Peggy Chun’s room is the heart of it all the friendships created there are true and lasting, sewn together with her own hearts thread.

I won’t say that Peggy was a total angel, she could be kolohe, but all her different characteristics were all necessary ingredients in creating her legend. I’m sure many of you, as I had, thought that if anyone was going to beat ALS, Peggy would be that person. We’d walk into her room one day and she’d be there smiling up at us. I’d always dreamed of the day I would see her smile. Well the other day as I sat and thought about it, happy tears streamed down my face, I had finally realized, that I had walked into that room almost every day for the past 3 years and her spirit was always smiling, she had beaten ALS a long time ago.

Eric's Remembrance

Here is Eric's remembrance from the memorial service...

Aloha to Mom

I learned 3 basic truths growing up. One, my mother was a fun loving, creative spendthrift. Two, my dad was a hard working Pake. And three, apparently, according to my dad, I was just like my mom.

What did this mean, to be just like Peggy Chun? Well, to me it meant a lot of things. It meant I had faith in my own creative abilities. When she had an idea, there was never a question of “Can I do this?”, it was always: “Let’s do it! …and we’ll figure out how later.”

She always filled me with confidence, and encouraged me without solicitation. Like if I was drawing something, she would say “Oh honey, you are such a great artist!” and I believed what she said. This kind of self-confidence goes a long way.

Mom had a shameless charm about her. When there was a problem, she could charm the shirt off anyone who could help. But she always did it with love. And with a nudge and a wink, she would acknowledge that she knew it was a lot to ask, but that the reward was always great. She found many co-conspirators this way.

She was shameless in the way that she was not embarrassed by acting on her ideas. She could walk into a room dressed in a penguin costume with no remorse. In fact, pretty soon, the whole room would be in stitches, and probably putting on the other costumes she brought along.

I wasn’t embarrassed by these antics until around hitting puberty. But before that, she was a magical, kid-like figure who could do no wrong. In Elementary school, she would come to visit my classroom one day every year, with boxes of Christmas ornament supplies, and we would spend the day gluing shells and Kukui nuts together, making our own creations. I wasn’t embarrassed. I thought she was the coolest mom around. She wasn’t your normal stuffy adult, she lived the magic of childhood.
In fact, my mom was a big kid to the end. She valued the moment and gulped down the abundance of life with playfulness and disregard, but always with joy.

It is this joy, this love for life, that she will always be remembered. It is her greatest gift to us all. To love and be loved with all your heart.

My maternal grandmother, my mom’s mom, Sara Richard was her greatest inspiration. She modeled herself upon her mom’s exuberance and love for life. In her final days, my grandmother wrote these words:

“Chastity without charity is chained in hell. The same can be said of all the virtues. Patience without love is condescending. Courage becomes stoicism, and church going, hypocrisy. St. Thomas says that the virtues are the habits of love.

Mom drew great strength from the love of her mother, and I can do the same. Am I still “just like my mom?” Well, I am grown now and can see the big picture in life. I can see the dark with the light. But fundamentally, I am what I am because of her virtue. Thank you mom, for giving me this gift. I will miss you.

In closing, I’m sure Peg would ask us to see the beauty of this world all around us. And the next time you look up at the sky and see the clouds, notice that there is more than just grey and white. She would point out all the subtle and beautiful colors that are reflected: the violets and cobalts, the burnt siennas, ultramarines, and of course her favorite: Cadmium Red Light.

Peace be with you mom, Aloooooha.

What a Weekend!

I don't even know where to start. I am writing this from home and the kids (and Eric) are still sleeping. It has been a LONG and wonderful weekend, but it is nice to be sitting here, back in our own home and reality, with a cup of hot coffee and some quiet. We got back home yesterday afternoon after staying the weekend at Hale Pohaku, the beautiful beach house in Waimanalo where we had Peggy's Celebration of Life Luau.

Friday's service was so perfect. I don't think things could have run any smoother. Oh, except that one mistake we made on the program - we didn't have Eric listed as a speaker! Oops! And that is after proofing it twice! The first time we proofed it we sent it off to be printed before Elroy had a chance to look it over and graciously point out that we had left him off of the list of Peggy's surviving ohana. Double oops. Luckily we caught in time before it went to print...and it worked out just fine at the service, Suzanne Maurer ran around before the service letting people know where Eric would speak.

The music at the service was breathtaking. And the church looked so beautiful. I know that Peggy had a hand in the timing of everything because since it was December they had decorated the church with wreaths and other Christmas decor...Peggy would have just LOVED it. All of the speakers, led by the calm and eloquent Chaplain Clarence Liu, were perfect and nailed their presentations. I am hoping that I'll be able to get some of the speeches from everyone and Elroy's eulogy to share here on the blog because they were so beautifully written and very funny and poignant.

The other great news is that Suzanne Maurer arranged for a videographer to record the services, so we will soon have that to share with family who couldn't attend the services and we can have a copy to share at the house. Hopefully all of you saw the coverage both in the papers and on the news. They did a great job of sharing some of the highlights of the day like Malia's singing (with John McCreary on the organ), Jim's "Coincidence" song, Keola and Moana doing "Green Rose Hula", Marvel (and Hanna and Shelly) in penguin costumes, and all the love (and costumes!) that filled the church. I have to also say how proud I am of Eric's speech - he did the most amazing job! Not a dry eye in the house! I know he made Peggy proud up there.

It was so wonderful to see so much family and so many friends, old and new. It was so fun to visit with everyone before and after the services...a reunion of sorts and the mood was definitely light as we kissed, hugged, laughed, and remembered with each other...truly the church celebration that Peggy always wanted.

Then it was off to Waimanalo to let our hair down and REALLY celebrate the way Peggy would! The decorating committee did an awesome job of setting up the yard. Peggy's luau requests specifically said, "lots of twinkly lights" and they absolutely accomplished that!

I said a few words at the luau before Suzanne's pule (prayer). I'll sum up what I said here for those that missed it because we mean it with all of our heart:

The family would like to to express our deep gratitude to the people that made today possible. To all the volunteers who assisted us here and at the church. To Mike Sitch for the use of this amazing house that is so Peggy. To all of the musicians, all of Peggy’s favorites entertaining us tonight. And also to the family that flew all the way to be here to day – Peggy’s dad, Joe, her brothers Peter and Mike, and her cousins Putter and Rip.

And of course, we want to acknowledge our amazing Peggy Chun Memorial Committee who put all of their hearts into planning the service and this luau. Pat Gamble, Conne Sutherland, Pokey Richardson, Julie Percell, Mata Rubinstein, Suzanne Maurer, Lynn Cook, Malia Ka’ai and our dedicated office girls - Karen Lillinoe & Kelly Jones.

When Peggy was diagnosed with ALS, one of the first things she did was plan her service and the luau to follow. I laugh when I think about how excited she was envisioning all the details of today – it was by far the easiest way for her to begin to accept her diagnosis since it was her favorite thing to do – plan a party!

The Committee did such an incredible job of planning a memorial service and luau for Peggy that truly exceeded any expectations – even Peggy’s own! This is above and beyond anything we could have hoped for. I can’t tell you what a gift it has been for them to take the lead on the planning, allowing the family to process the loss of Peggy without the added anxiety of all the work and organization of details that it took to make today possible. Their concern for our emotional and physical strength at this time has been so heart-warming and so appreciated – without them, none of this would have happened…and because of them we were able to fulfill these last (always elaborate) wishes of Peggy’s.

It always struck me as so odd that she planned today with the zest and detail of someone who would be attending the event…but now I get it…this is what she had envisioned…all of us here, celebrating who she was, carrying on her love for life, love for friends, and love for great parties where those two things come together.

And Peggy is here. You can feel her presence, feel her pride, and feel her laughing and loving each minute of this.

At this point we raised our glasses in a toast to Peggy. We counted to three and at the top of our lungs said together, "WE LOVE YOU, PEGGY!"

The rest of the party was spent dancing to Don Tiki (with Jason on the drums), eating the ono Hawaiian food that Peggy would have devoured - especially her favorite - opihi! And of course there was lots of talking and drinking! At about 9pm we broke everything down - we had an amazing group volunteers helping.

There were quite a few of us who slept over and I think I'll just leave it to everyone's imagination to envision what the after-party was like. Let me just say that we all made Peggy proud partying in her honor. Let me also say that the Richards are notorious for their partying skills (and loud voices). And I will graciously leave out any incriminating descriptions of "Legs Gone Wild" since I'm pretty sure our new motto should be "What Happens in Waimanalo, Stays in Waimanalo".

On Saturday, we gathered to spread (some of) Peggy's ashes in the ocean. We were blessed to have Manu join us (the kind man who came to Peggy's services to blow the conch shell) and he led us down to the water with conch blowing and chanting. We were all, of course, in costume. Then Eric, Karen, Marita, and Hanna all paddled out on kayaks. Indy and I paddled out on a longboard and Jen paddled out on another board. We paddled out pretty far and Eric spread the ashes. It was the most beautiful day, so clear, so perfect. Then, just as we paddled back in, Karen and Jen saw a turtle! Karen followed it saying, "I'm following you, Peggy!" It was the most amazing experience!

That afternoon and evening we had more sleepover fun...again, remember our new motto! And then yesterday we had more beach time and then clean up time. In the afternoon, just before we were going to leave, Granddad Joe tripped up the stairs and fell pretty hard face forward. He broke his fall with his right shoulder and was in quite a bit of pain. The brothers and Putter took him to Straub where they discovered that he had indeed broken his arm.

Joe and Peter had a flight to catch at 11pm and Joe did not want to delay their departure, so with the doctor's approval, they decided to fly out anyway. They put his arm in a sling, gave him some meds and a note to request that they get bumped up to first class, then he'll have it looked at when he gets back home. What a way to end their trip!

We saw them before they left. After the hospital, Mike and Putter, Peter and Granddad, and Jason, Jade, and Cian all came over for dinner at our house in Kalihi. They Granddad and Peter went to catch their flight, everyone left, and we were able to get a much needed good night's rest.

Sawyer is up now, so my mommy duties begin. We'll be heading to Alika house soon. Now that the services are behind us, we can focus on the house, our upcoming sale, thank you cards, and Christmas! I'll post again soon! And will share photos soon too. Have a great day!

Getting Ready for Tomorrow and Other Stuff

We've been busy busy busy meeting and prepping for tomorrow's services and luau. Eric and I don't even have the words to express how grateful we are to our dedicated (not to mention super organized and competent) Peggy Chun Memorial Committee. I can't get over how beautifully everything is coming together. And what a party this luau is going to be tomorrow! I know that Peggy is smiling down on all of us with pride and excitement.

Today the tents go up at Hale Pohaku at 2pm and then the decorating committee hits the scene at 5pm. We have so many wonderful volunteers helping out everywhere - at the church, at the luau, before and after...it is amazing!

We've had a lot of visitors and helpers at the house...we are so grateful for everyone coming and helping us deal with the overwhelming task of sorting through Peggy's house full of stuff. Karen and I were talking about it and we are feeling unprepared for all the help...we don't want to turn away help and we know that there is so much to be done, but we are having a hard time finding good and productive tasks for people...it is sort of hard to know where to start. We are feeling guilty because people are coming to help and we just feel like sitting around and hanging out with them instead of working on the house. We feel like we're tricking people into hanging out with us by luring them in asking for help with the house! Ha! That's OK, right?

I think part of our problem is that we are so focused on Friday's services and luau...we feel like once we get through this week then we can really start focusing on the house. Now that we have planned our first yard sale (and Christmas sale/party) we have a goal to work towards.

We have started to clear the back corner (where the couch used to be) for yard sale stuff...and as I mentioned before, you Legs get the first crack at that stuff to see if there is anything that you would like to take. Just be sure to check in with us to let us know what you are taking...just in case something ends up there that is not supposed to be in that section.

This leads me to another announcement. I know that many of you have things that you either left/lost/loaned to Peggy, things that Peggy told you that you could have someday, things that you especially loved, things that mean something to you, things you gave to Peggy that you would like back, etc. I know that many of you might be concerned that we are cleaning and getting rid of stuff before you have a chance to speak out - so, here's what will make things easiest for all of us:

PLEASE EMAIL ME about any items you have in mind. Email me your name, contact number, and a description of the item and the circumstances (you gave it to Peg, she gave it to you, you loved it, you know someone who should have it, etc.). I am compiling an excel spread sheet with all this info so that as we go through the house we can reference it. We will also be labeling things with names as we find things and put them in a certain designated area.

Feel free to offer suggestions of people that might be able to use certain items as donations (i.e., old towels can go to the Humane Society, medical equipment can be donated to MDA). We will do our best to accommodate any requests while also adhering to Peggy's wishes and those of the family.

FYI, all of the artwork, art supplies, business stuff will be going to our new gallery/office location, where ever that may be. Please help us keep an eye out for gallery/office spaces in the Downtown/Chinatown area and also for an apartment/loft for Elroy in this same area!

See you all tomorrow!!! XOXO

A few Notes About Friday's Memorial Service

Aloha Peg's Legs...looking forward to seeing you all this Friday at Kawaihao Church and at the luau to follow. For those of you who are helping at Kawaihao, we have parking passes for you. They will be ready for pick up at Peggy's at 10am tomorrow (Wednesday).

We have reserved the first 5 pews of the church for Peg's Legs caregivers and family members. Also, we have been informed by the church that this is a BYOT (Bring Your Own Tissue) event!

Peg's Leg Christmas in Nuuuanu

Aloha Peg’s Legs!

Get your last minute Christmas shopping done all in one place! Artwork by Peggy and others, prints, calendars, cards, cookbooks, The Watercolor Cat book, and more. Plus, check out the household treasures looking for new homes as we begin to plan a move to a new location.

Peg’s Legs Christmas in Nuuanu
An Art & Treasure Sale at Peggy Chun’s

Friday December 19th 11am to 4pm
Saturday December 20th 10am to 4pm

Peggy Chun Art Studio & Gallery
3115 Alika Avenue Honolulu, Hawaii 96817

Most importantly, come and see us because we miss you all! Even if you’ve finished your shopping, just come for the refreshments and socializing. And don’t forget your Christmas costumes in honor of Peggy!

Friends and family are welcome! Mele Kalikimaka!

Email kimi@peggchun.com or call 808-595-8434 for more information
www.peggychun.com

Email Problems

Hi all - I have been having some major email problems the past couple days. I have been able to send email but not receive it. It seems to be working now, but if you have tried to send me anything in the past couple days, please assume that I have not received it. Getting no email has been both frustrating AND strangely liberating. Anyways, don't get mad at me if I haven't responded to an email that you sent (yeah, I'm talking to you, Hanna Levitz) since I most likely haven't received it...please resend - thank you!